Wow masyaAllah I am glad that I did not delete this blog. I had many ideas to write when I was young. What's up ? I am currently in my junior year in Economics minor in International Trade (Geography) . I did not expect my old posts can benefit me in some way. For example, I used to post inspiring entry to lift up myself and alhamdulillah I am glad that this blog is still alive. Honestly, I had moved to other blog, but I would end up writing my post halfway and did not post anything. I am still writing but in my personal journal because I can keep it but then I lost it by throwing them into the dustbin. I feel ashamed of my past, that's why I don't keep them. But without the past, I would not be here right? There are many things happening in my life that I try to figure out by asking myself to find the solutions. Being a grown up is so hard. You have to worry on every single thing and it leads me to overthink. I hate that, it does disturb my sleep.
I came across my old post about how I tried to persuade my dad to fly to Korea. Alhamdulillah my family and I went there last year :) it was last minute decision because suddenly all my family members get the MAS benefits, which means cheap ticket. At first, we did not manage to purchase it because the ticket for economy class were full ! Then thank you Allah , my dad willing to purchase the business class which were cheaper than Air Asia economy ticket and MAS economy normal rate. We had so much fun , exploring new place but it feel different when you went there as a tourist not as resident. It was different. No house, no cars. You have to be particular in your spending, managing your time. Will I go there again ? OF COURSE .
Then, in August 2013 I flew to Buffalo NY. What a new experience :') I had high expectations on America because the foreign country I had been to were only Korea and Singapore were developed countries. I expected that USA were going to be the same but oh boy I was wronged. It hurts hahaha. It took me a year to accept everything in America. Don't blame me. I lived in super high tech place in Korea, the metropolitan city but Buffalo is different. It is suburban city. Pretty much like Bangi, but I think Bangi is more developed. Don't let me start with how biiiggggggg is USA. Really big that if you haven't been here you couldn't imagine. I remembered I got super cranky on my first road trip, I almost cried; eight hours on road, stopover at the gas station to sleep on road because staying at hotel is expensive. Nevertheless, I am grateful for that experience , I can bear long road trip now but I still can't get myself to be confident in driving here. I always feel I was being watched all the time. The police here did their job thoroughly. I am not a speedy, but sometimes I feel like I am afraid to drive because I will get summoned by the police.
I also learned how is it to be alone. No wonder lonely is kind of disease. Don't get me wrong. If you are okay being alone, that's fine. But I just realized I couldn't being alone. I must talk to people, socializing with people. I was surrounded by the big crowd since I was in primary school until preparation college, so I think it is okay to live on my own. but naah, it comes to the moment where I couldn't control myself. I become ignorant. I ignore everything around me because I am too lonely. What a dreadful semester. Alhamdulillah it was for a semester only. I am back to myself now :)
I want to conclude my writing. MashaAllah amazed with myself I can write up to the last paragraph. My sister is coming to USA to further her study here, in Philadephia. six hours drive from my place, but it is not a big deal. Her place is near to big city which I envy. New York City, Philadelphia, Atlantic City, and DC. My plan for winter trip. InshaAllah I am going to San Francisco, CA to attend annual Muktamar. Spend some time there. Golden Gate Bridge, Bay Bridge, Steep Road, Princess Diaries here I come ! Then I am off to Philadelphia to meet my sister. Then I am going to DC, NYC, and Atlantic City. The ending is in Buffalo, home sweet home. Finally I can call Buffalo my second home. Alhamdulillah for this new house and housemate. I can't express my gratitude in words. I am forever blessed :')
still overwhelmed because I can write this much
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