Allah is Fair

 i don't know why i am crying maybe because i didnt get what i want? or else?

but i do cry because of the overflowing love from my parents, my siblings, my family, my teachers and my friends

i do cry because i had dissapoint them

but another reason is i cry because i feel touched when people care for me, i just do not know how to handle it. the warm wishes from my friends and my teachers... i mean, actually they are really strong to support me after i had dissapoint them

furthermore, Allah do test me rite now. Until SPM, i always asked Allah. 'Allah, I had done so many sins, why you always gives me victory since i was in upsr till scholarship?'. And this time, i am not saying Allah is cruel, but He is fair.

Honestly, i tried to become close to Him. Firstly, because i want the success. I even scared more when I started to change my intention(which is i really want to be close to Him because of Him), i was afraid to face the challenges, i know Allah will test me. I know. but before that, i must remember, He give me hardship but He will never leave me alone. He always there. Tapi memang Allah tu memang akan bertindak dalam sangkaan kita kan. Dah fikir macam tu, siapa suruh kan(fikir..kalau aku dekat dengan Allah, mesti dia nak uji aku ni. taknaklahhh) . Memang sepatutnya apabila kita dah yakin dengan Dia, jangan fikir masalah yang akan dtg. HOHO. skrg pun macam tgah fikir lg masalah apa lagi nak dtg. TAPI KITA KENA SANGKA BAIK KAT ALLAH. betul !

- i didnt regret to enter that college because i gained so many experiences but i regret because i did not treasure it to the fullest.

Alhamdulillah, i am recovery and I am still working to protect my heart.

but yes , bak kata pepatah melayu ; kawan ketawa mudah dicari, kawan menangis susah :')

But i am really glad that all my bestfriends and my friend who are not that really close ( because i was really shocked because they are really supportive, i never thought that it is the power of friendship !) to me were always behind my back. Ya Allah, bless them ya Allah. grant all their wishes and protect them <3